What does God have to say regarding marriage? I’m very aware that much has been written on this subject by writers over the centuries, but have seen very little that is true to inspired words. Most of what passes for marriage counseling is what to look for in a mate, not questioning if it is even God’s will to look for a mate at all.
It was God’s original plan for a man and woman to be together as a unit. Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Verse 24: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
There are many rules regarding sexuality and marriage relations in the Old Testament, given by a loving God to help the beings created in his image to be most happy. Nearly everything in the OT assumes that a man and woman will get married, and attempt to have children.
Then in the New Testament, Jesus gives some definite advice on this question in Matthew 19:10-12 “His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with [his] wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All [men] cannot receive this saying, save [they] to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from [their] mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive [it], let him receive [it].” He shows that whoever can receive the instruction to not marry should receive it and not marry.
The Holy Spirit shows thru Paul in 1Corinthians 7:1-3 “Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” Verses 7-9 “For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” Verses 27-28 “Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.”
It is clear beyond a doubt that it is best not to marry, but it is not a sin to marry. If anyone says it is a sin to marry, you can be sure that they are not led of God. 1Timothy 4:1-3 “Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry,…”
What further instruction has God given us thru Ellen White?
Review and Herald Vol.1 03-24-1868 Dealing With Those Overtaken in the Sin of Adultery
6. As in the days of Noah, one of the signs of these times is a passion for injudicious and hasty marriages. Satan is in this. If Paul could remain single, and recommend the same to others, that he and they might be wholly the Lord’s, why not those who would be wholly his, and wish to make a sure thing of avoiding the cares, trials, and bitter anguish, so frequent in the experiences of those who choose the married life, remain as he was? And more, if he chose to remain so, and could recommend it to others, eighteen centuries since, would not to remain as he was, be a commendable course for those who are waiting for the coming of the Son of man, unless evidences were unquestionable that they were bettering their condition, and making Heaven more sure by so doing? When so much is at stake, why not be on the sure side everytime? James White, Ellen G. White.
General Conference Daily Bulletin 02-06-1893 Unpublished Testimony Relative to City Missions page 181
“Many of the marriages contracted in these last days prove to be a mistake. The parties make no advancement in spiritual things; their growth and usefulness ended with their marriage. There are men and women throughout the country who would have been accepted as laborers together with God if Satan had not laid his snares to entangle their minds and hearts in courtship and marriage. Did the Lord urge them to obtain the advantages of our schools and missions, that they might sink everything in courtship and marriage, binding themselves by a human band for a lifetime? By accepting the work of rearing children in these last days of uncertainty and peril, many place themselves in a position where they cannot labor either in the canvassing field or in any other branch of the cause of God, and some lose all interest to do this. They are content with a common, low level, and assimilate to the position they have chosen. The bewitching power of Satan’s deceptions wrought within the human heart its evil work. Instead of candidly considering the time in which we live, and the work they might do in leading others to the truth, they reason from a selfish standpoint, and follow the impulse of their own unconsecrated hearts. “The flesh lusteth against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh.” The natural appetites and passions become a controlling power, and the result is that spiritual growth ceases; the soul is, as it were, paralyzed.
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So we see that the writings of Ellen White agree with the Bible instruction that it is best not to marry, as marriage often proves more of a hindrance on the narrow path to heaven than a help.
“When so much is at stake, why not be on the sure (single) side everytime?”