Danny Winters' Good Adventure, September 98 in India
This diary was written with my Japanese and American friends in mind.
SDA = Seventh-Day Adventist
One Indian Rupee equals about US $.024 or Japanese yen 3.7.
So Rs10 = $.24 or 37jpy.
3-9 The family i'm staying with goes to Bible camp! 4 peaceful days! I'm so excited i sweep the floor, clean the kitchen a bit, and type on the computer all day.
4-9 What's this? I rub my eyes in the morning thinking something is amiss. Noone making loud noises, or making meaningless circles around the rooms turning the overhead fan off or on just to be busy, or most remarkably, no trash tornados sweeping everything before them thru the house. Usually there are bags, leaves, hair, who knows what scouring the concrete floor. Focus neuron A to neuron B. Yeah! It's gonna be a great day!
6-9 I stay inside all day and find it hard to believe i'm anywhere except a really nice country. The 2 or 3 times the electricity goes off and having to remember not to rinse out the toothbrush under the faucet give a gentle reminder tho.
7-9 They came back around 1am. I awaken to trash "flurries". How can there be gum wrappers on the floor already at 6am?!
8-9 The father is very agreeable today and i feel like we can really put our efforts together and get some work accomplished. He assents to my suggestions with reasonable modifications (they're the same suggestions agreed to a couple of months earlier...) and he has a plan to get stuff done. Hallelujah! Let's get going on it!
9-9 The son is being taught guitar by a church member whose house i almost rented when i first came to India. He is cosmopolitan, going all over the world playing music and is knowledgeable about his faith in Jesus Christ also. Tonite, he sits down in the computer room with the father of the family and i, and starts talking lolly-polly. First thing he taught me was that America was very bad. We make most of our money by selling weapons. I agree partially but his tone is different. I ask a question and am cut off with a question of his own. No. That's not the way discussions are done. (Foolishly i still think this is a discussion.) He finally answers something that shows he has great animosity against America and he's off and running:
- America supported Hitler in WWII so we could sell more weapons.
- America forced Japan to bomb Pearl Harbor so we could - of course.
- There are over 3billion Indians. etc. etc. (actually around 1B)
He also says that Americans used to be really respected but now most Indians look down on them. What really hurts is that the family's father joins in, allbeit somewhat half-heartedly.
Then some stories about Americans 40 years ago who saved people's jobs who were going to be forced to quit because of working on the Sabbath. An American then took a personal interest in their cases and went clear over the immediate bosses to the highest section chief to appeal the cases. He won, and the people got Sabbaths off work, but how many people got a bad impression of the pushy - ignore Indian society, Americans? And i hear a story about a "great" American who started a health food factory and one morning he saw a row of street lights being planted next to the road near where his factory was being constructed. With only a few more left to do, he told the workers that they should be 4 feet away from the road so his trucks could make the turn into the plant. They laughed. He went to the head road superintendent who ordered the workers to move the whole line of poles because this "great" American wanted it that way. I'm listening to these 2 stories and think: "the seeds for the current dislike, if any, were laid by these "great" men. Why don't they reason out cause and effect??" To me, they are holding opposing views in their minds at the same time, firmly believing in each one. At the end, the father, to his credit (his heart really is 24K), said all this wasn't essential and that we should focus on Jesus. The teacher went home without teaching a lick of guitar. I marvel at what he did and wonder how something like this would've gone over in Japan - come to teach and instead harass a guest and leave without teaching:(
10-9 I let off some steam with emails to my friends. It helps a little. A hotmail comes from a friend in Japan stating that he wanted to help God's cause and put his wallet where his heart is. It thrilled me:) I know a place up near Nepal that would put it to good use. Maybe it'd just be best to wait 'til i get back to Japan and we can do some evangelism there. I do an internet search on "E.G.White books" and find some interesting sites like www.bibleprophecy.net. About half of the hits i get though, are from sites putting her and her writings down. Lots of people have lots of axes to grind and the internet is a way to let everybody know how much you don't know (waiiiiiiit a cotton-pickin' minute - i'm on the internet!!). I just wonder if these people give much thought to what they're going to say to God on Judgment Day?
I've discovered that my airline ticket out of here is missing. Great! Do not pass GO. Do not collect 200 Rupees. Rot here the rest of your life or until you throw doubles. I walk to the nearest police station. "Probably i lost it when i was exchanging money" i foolishly say. Being sly and lazy, they say "where was the exchange office"? When i tell them, they refer me gleefully to a different station. The next station i go to looks right on the map, but is the wrong one. Finally, at the 3rd one, they take my missing report after almost demanding me to drink the tea placed before me. I thought it might be better than putting me in the iron chains i saw attached to the walls just like in that Roots movie i saw when i was a kid. But i countered with the statement that i was a vegetarian which caught them off guard enough to forget their tea attack. I walk on over to the Japanese consulate which was uncharacteristically dumpy also. I guess the Japanese "order" has been warped by the Indian heat.
I go to the post office in the afternoon and Satan "gets" me. Just when i get to the stamp window, the counter-lady leaves her spot. A jostling crowd forms so some guy comes to the rescue. I ask him for stamps and he says "No". I look at him in disbelief and then retreat towards the back of the mob, collecting my thoughts. A man standing next to me asks what happens so i tell him. When the counter-lady comes back, he rushes the counter screaming something. The only English i hear is "This is supposed to be a post office!! Why don't you sell stamps"?!! A huge argument ensues involving around 8 active participants. The mob finally thins out and i'm getting near the counter again when 2 guys come up and reaching over the glass, shove their money at the counter-lady. I'm worked up from all the arguing and let this new guy have it. He doesn't answer so after a few seconds i think he's an angel or doesn't understand English. I apologize outside but feel lower than dust on the inside.
11-9 Trudging down a narrow congested lane back from the post office today (yes, the P.O., church, and markets are the only places i hang out), a 3-wheeler bumps me from behind. I'm enraged and yell "AHO!" (stupid, crazy) at him. His puzzled look almost makes me laugh but i keep a stern face. John came to visit today. He's an Australian who's been in India for the greater part of 5 years trying to do natural therapy. What a delite to talk to! Someone who exactly understands me!! Someone who thinks like i do (scary huh?)! Of course he's done a lot more and had many more experiences in India, but our viewpoints match. He's amazed that anything gets done at all here. Like he says "the buses going down the roads are made in India - somehow, somewhere, things DO get done". His headache from lack of sleep is really bad. I know i have a constant vacant look in my eyes too from lack of sleep.
12-9
Sabbath
We go to church where John gives a detailed 10-minute talk on the digestion system. I talk about 2 minutes and the bell rings so i finish quickly. I learn afterwards that those bells ring for the schools everyday. I feel some pride when i'm chided by the son here "whenever an American speaks here, they always quit when the bell rings":) Yeah! Follow the rules:)
The son starts to explain why he won't follow American culture and practices. I can't follow his logic. He looks at me hopelessly like most people here do (i haven't felt like such a know-nothing since perhaps distant-past high school days). Fortunately John chimes in with "and then?" on top of my "so?" suddenly turning the tables. I've started to feel like everything i've ever learned is worthless because noone respects anything i say. But! Someone in Madras who thinks like i do! - Why can't they be an Indian????
Observations on logic in:
- The West: If A and if B - then C.
- Japan: If A and if B...
- India: If R and if E - then Y for now becoming T or Q later
The Western way is straightforward but leads to absolutism.
The Japanese way requires people with similar thinking patterns to recognize that the answer is C. This way leads to greater self-involvement because each person arrives at the answer individually. The downside is that many people don't know what the "answer" is they're supposed to arrive at and feel left in the dark.
The Indian way has the meaning of logic being interpreted by each person leading to chaos and gurus.
Here's a cute ad in a local newspaper -
VCP means Video Cassette Player.
15-9 Here i am bright and early at the police station. What? Come back tomorrow? But i was told to come back Monday last Thursday, told to come back tommorow yesterday, and now what? Oh, call the guard with the gun. Guess my incredulous looks and voice made you think i might get crazy violent. I Am an American you know... Well, i came this far, might as well go on down to the Korean Airlines office. They're pleasant enough and the guy says maybe i'd want to see someone at the American consulate (after he says i should pay the police officers Rs100 or so: "This IS India after all". I amble on over to the American consulate and wait a while for them to contact the police and inform me that the Prime Minister is coming thru Chennai today, (so that's what all those hammer and sickle flags and riot police were for - no joking) so no business is being done today at police stations. Great! Let's go ro...
On the long, 4-mile, exercise is good for you in an oven, walk home, i stop by Spencer's which is a nice shopping mall. All the "culture" whiners who bemoan McDonalds should come to India for awhile. At the cafe counter there is no real line. People shove money at anyone behind the counter, just like at the post office. The cashier rung up my order and then voided out one item but of course charged me the whole price. I'm still not up on scams (was that an elective in college?) so now i go to a different part of the counter and shove a receipt at anyone who looks half alive. The guy didn't give me the voided item at first but didn't get too flustered about giving it to me anyway. Maybe he and the girl have a thing where they split all the "voided" profits at the end of the day. I find a nice place to sit and eat, and whadd'ya know?? The first moppist i've seen in this country. He's using it like a jet engine. Probably thinks he's impressing his boss who's never seen a mop in action before. Look Ma! The whole floor without squeezing out the dirty water! Look at me fly! I can make the mop strings whoosh over my head! All the snackers head for dirtier and safer areas.
At the central post office, i'm about to walk in the door when i notice a mouse has expired or is expiring. He's sprawled out on the pavement like the cows and dogs i've seen, but he's not biting fleas or chewing a cud so i think he's dead. I turn the other way and 5 seconds later - he's gone. A crow? A dog? Someone's curry? A young man comes up to me and starts talking about his being a Christian and his work etc. I ask him to pray and he sings a nice long song. Then i pray. Then the inevitable. He asks for a few rupees for tea and some to "help the poor". Another man comes up to him and i back off, but the newcomer says it's rude to butt in on a conversation so i look longingly at the mostly empty water bottle i've used sparingly today and give it to my new acquaintance. He drinks some and pours as much on his hands to clean them. I'm shaking my head inside at his waste but the newcomer praises me for parting with all my water. I make it about 4km back to a little shop near the house, get a litre of Bisleri water, and cough when the only sweeper i lay eyes on all day decides to clean around my feet ---.
The computer is sinking quickly. We'd better get our Windows95 CD tomorrow as promised! Or else! Or else i'll,,, i'll, call again i guess. The father here bought a binding machine that uses the round plastic rings to keep booklets together. Probably it'll be used twice and then break or be put back in the corner where it'll collect dust. Have i gotten too pessimistic or just ultra-realistic? Either way, i don't like what i'm becoming.
16-9 I go at 9:30 - "come back at 2:30". I go at 2:30 - "please wait awhile". They do paper work for an hour and then go off somewhere. They seem surprised to see me when they come back around 7:45. They start working on my report (writing with a 'fountain' pen! to make it official i guess). I'm actually very calm, just wanting my precious report and then escaping. No, i wouldn't like to have tea with you. How can he think i'd actually enjoy having tea with him after being forced to sit on my bum for 6 hours??!!
17-9 Like Totally Incredible! LMN India has gotten Something accomplished! A study camp is being held to train Bible study workers using Amazing Facts' study guides. We arrive on the 4th day of a 5-day camp with the first 10 guides in Tamil, bound in a folder. The guides themselves are just text with only a line around our address to give a clue that it might have been done up on a computer:( I'm a little ashamed to be chosen to hand them out to all 60 participants, but the reaction helps change my mind - they're ecstatic. One man says that finally "we have something in heaven's language". Several others express their sincere appreciation and one man even thanks me for "coming all the way to India and putting up with these conditions to help give us the truth in our own tongue". I'm melted. I really haven't done much at all. Directly on Amazing Facts, i've only spent about 20 hours total. I refer him to the father here and to the other pastor who's been helping for the past week. I WANT to help, but...
Oh yeah, in the morning i took my police report to the Korean Air office where i started getting a dressing down for losing my ticket and not reporting it earlier. After i get testy, she gets nice. I hate to do business this way. Why can't i just explain nicely and they respond nicely? I've got a lot of unlearning to do when i get back to Japan!
18-9 Another "put me in a bad mood " morning. I was asked 5 or 6 days ago to give a talk on The First Angel's Message next Sabbath evening. I've gathered my material and previewed it, expecting to study it over on the Sabbath. At 7:15, the father comes to me and asks if i can have the outline of my talk ready for the typist who comes in at 8:00. I look at him blankly and say, No. I'm not a fireman every day. Sometimes that is needed, but why can't there be any advance planning? (redundant English)
Two men who run a large orphanage project come and ask about handling foreign funds. The talk turns to what i'm doing here so i trot out the 1858 Great Controversy. We talk pleasantly awhile and then i hear someone say that they won't put Ellen White's name on the book as that might 'cause prejudice'. I say that we should put her name on the book as, 'That's the right thing to do'. Fireworks. Both sides said things Best not repeated. One of the men who's come to visit finally puts it into perspective when he talks about the relative importance of God's law/man's law.
Of course. Why couldn't i have thot of that and said it in a calm manner? Dwelling on how i get different answers for the same questions has caused a flaw in my character. How can i just ignore the work situation tho and pretend everything is hunky-dory when it's really rotten to the core?
20-7 The whole family and i went to an all-nite prayer meeting where i talked on The First Angel's Message (with an outline i made Sabbath morning) and the father talked on the 2nd's. About 25 people gathered and managed to keep their eyes mostly open:) We came back home around 2am after having a nice chat on the way, looking out the windows at the packs of dogs rummaging thru the garbage and harassing the groups of cows trying to sleep (in a city setting it all looks really gross). We sleep around 4 hours and are at it again. This pace is killing me. It's not that so much is going on. It's that i don't sleep too well here and the flat time is just way too short. It's probably the biggest physical reason for the blow-ups and lethargy here (with poor diet coming in second).
The father's been asked to give the sermon at a small Pentecostal church today. I'm along for the "experience". We arrive to a large, concrete basement with drum banging that makes me think they're bringing up the evil spirits, i found out later that at least one of Satan's angels DID get in. A rice mat on a concrete floor gets pretty hard after 2 hours, remembering my 6 hour police-station ordeal encourages my maximus-glutemas. A boy plays with a magnet and iron filings near me. I find out later that it's erasing the floppy disk in my pouch. The talk is about Daniel:) I'm asked to give a short testimony and talk about how being a vegetarian is God's plan, not to earn favor with God, but because it's good for us and is how we'll be in heaven. Their emotionless faces really brighten up. THIS is the entering wedge for this country. So many people look down on Christians because they think all of us eat meat. So they are 'better' than us.
The pastor there really gets worked up in his prayer. Suddenly, the man kneeling in front of me doesn't just say - Hallelujah, Praise God, - he starts hopping, still in a kneeling position, up and down violently on the thin rice mat on the concrete floor. A scene flashes thru my mind. It was about 5 years ago in Japan that a goofy religious cult (aumshinrikyou) let off poison gas in a subway in Tokyo killing 12. Video tapes at the time showed them trying to levitate. The man in front of me was performing a eerily similar 'dance'. Then, the father here, came from the front, knelt, and placing his Bible on the man's head - prayed. Suddenly the man fell prostrate like putty with hard breathing. There is a real sense of being in the middle of "The Great Controversy Between Christ and His Angels and Satan and His Angels"! On the way home, the father and i talk, and putting differences aside, knit our hearts together for the battle - or so i longingly thought. Instead, the battle is civil war!
We both catch about an hour's rest and 6pm finds us both in the office with me typing on the computer and the father behind his desk. He's very quiet, straightening up his desk. Something's strange, but it's just napover daze me thinks. He slowly, deliberately, looks my direction but not really in the eye, and says... "If you were the only Christian i'd ever met, i'd never have become one. I've purposely not followed any of your advice since about 2 weeks after you came" and other things Best not repeated - he says it all calmly, giving his desk the first straightening i've seen him give it since i came here.
The thing about becoming a Christian part has really got me worried. If he doesn't like me, that's OK. If i'm representing God wrong, i'm in BIG trouble. I ask him what i've done or haven't so i can make it right with him and God (and myself). He waves his hand and says it wouldn't accomplish anything to go into details. Now there's a horrible wrestling match in my mind about what i've done. Am i the 'ugly' American for talking about keeping things clean? The wife seems very happy there is less junk here now. Did he misunderstand my reluctance to speak publicly as non-missionary minded? I see my role as more like that of provider of material. This is probably the closest i'll ever come to divorce.
I go out on the balcony and gaze up at the stars. The Mrs. comes out and asks what's wrong. I'm sure she heard, but she probably didn't understand everything. I tell her i can't say. She presses me but i don't give in. What's to be gained?
I can emphathize a little now with the millions who go to bed every nite in the same house with someone who hates their guts. Not a pretty feeling. Not at all.
21-9 An email from an American friend in Japan gives me a ray of sunshine to start my day. I know what friends were made for:)!! With the other pastor who's come to help translate and proofread, things are calmer.
23-9 The son gives me a lot of advice about why things are the way they are here (or are perceived here). Seems like some email where i said "no work is being done here" was left on the computer when i got off, and his dad blew a gasket when he read it. Yes, i wrote that. When i came in June Steps to Christ was "about ready for the printer" and 14 Amazing Facts Bible study guides were complete. 3 months later it was: Steps to Christ "about ready for the printer" and somewhere between 5 and 15 Amazing Facts Bible study guides completed. I also mentioned it to the father around the first of this month, that nothing was getting accomplished. He wrung his hands, asked me what i thought the problem was, (i'm one-track about having some kind of "plan" and sticking to it) and agreed with me on how to fix things. Now, i'm a back-stabber for mentioning it in a email to someone. The son tells me one thing that changes my perception of his father drastically. Now i hear that the diatribe against America farce was PLANNED by the father and his friend to "pull that American guy down a notch or two". Setting up a scene to try to make an invited guest feel bad. REAL gracious hospitality. I still forgive him in my heart tho.
24-9 Another day of getting up at 6, doing computer stuff til 8, eating, washing and whatever til 3, going grocery shopping, doing computer stuff, getting hounded by the son about being a "bad man", eating, worshiping, showering, & going to bed around 10:30 - except that today is the first day ever in my life that i can remember being yelled at fiercely, incessantly, for longer than one sentence. Around 6:45 i was putting in my financial stuff in the computer when i saw the father walk out of the room from the corner of my eye. Suddenly i heard him say "do you want to come back to India"? Caught in the middle of something else, i replied "ummmmm, No". He said Ok and walked off. About 20 minutes later i went to fix supper and started thinking about how i felt when i was at Kalimpong looking out over the mountains with some really wonderful, dedicated SDA brothers and sisters, and how it would be nice to go back to that spot again. I kept thinking about this and just before the rare evening worship that they decided to have that nite, i told him that there were 1 or 2 spots in India i'd like to see again.
KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!
It's the first time in my life i've actually experienced first-hand the expression "mouth agape". My jaw was scraping the floor when he said that there were many other places to stay, but even though he never invited me, i was determined to stay at his place. HA! Then what was that he told me 3 times when i first came about being welcome to stay at his place?????????! Other things in this one-way volley are Best not repeated.
I go to bed shaking, jumping with a start at every little noise. "Lord, keep me safe from this man."
25-9 The son is real nice one minute, and literally crazy the next. The pastor who's helping translate etc. says it's like "he has another spirit in him sometimes". I hadn't thought like that, but come to think about it, it IS like the devil gets control of him at times. Funny tho, how all these times coincide with the times his dad leaves home... I try to enter the final proofreading changes to The Great Controversy when the son comes in and demands me to get off the computer. He's talking to me like he does the other Indian workers when his dad is gone. I tell him he can have it when i'm finished. He shadow boxes me while i keep glued to the screen, feeling the air blown by his fist coming within inches of my face. His facial expression looks like he DOES have an evil spirit. I mention it to him and he laughs and keeps shadow-boxing. I get The WORD version of the GC all finished:) Now just a little more on the HTML version.
28-9 I'm getting concerned about my airplane ticket. It should've been re-issued by now. I email my sister and some friends in America who call Korean Air for me. It's really good to know the whole world doesn't hate me:) Most of this week is some kinda Hindu holiday, so i'm told to call back on Friday.
29-9 Everything is looking good on my first ever internet site!!:) The Great Controversy - 1858 Edition is at:
(First site was on "My free net", which is no defunct. Then it went to Tagnet, then Myfly, and now Godaddy). I'm ecstatic! Something tangible done! Banzai! Banzai! Hallelujah! Now to put my diary on the internet...
30-9 I join morning worship and the father starts talking to me keeping his head mostly down, glancing up once in a while, talking in a low voice. I know what's coming and steel myself for another cyclone. I rub my ears. What??? He's, He's, He's apologizing! He never actually uses the dreaded "sorry" word, but it's a sincere apology. He doesn't mention why he was so angry at me, and he doesn't say anything to let me think that he thinks any different of me, but he apologizes for his behavior. Tears overflow in my eyes as he finishes. His son mentions in the evening, that during their morning walk, he and his mother had lightly talked to their dad that i wasn't such a terrible man - i cook for myself, keep things clean, and put up with lots of little inconveniences that i wouldn't have to endure in Japan or America. I have no illusions that i can work with him now, things have gone too far for that, but it's very nice to come near the end of this strange journey with the thought that the ill feelings can be swept away:)
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Please go back to the 1998 page before I get ill
Go to earlysda.com to read original 1858 Great Controversy book